This phrase is always regarded as a positive thing. Like to feel young again...or better. For me it's not that at all. As a teenager I was always depressed an angry... I chased my boyfriend because I always felt like my world was ending. I didn't want it to end with me alone... I had a big fear of being alone. I feel like that now I feel like all I want before it ends is a place of my own where I can feel like I had a family. Its like my world is ending and I want something I can leave behind I can't leave things undone. So I woke up this morning my stomach felt like someone had forced acid into it...my legs were stiff like I had sat in the Indian position all night... I was up most of the night tossing and turning. Thinking I want to do what is best for my family but not knowing what to do trying to figure out what I could do even. Looking at bills but wanting a simple weekend...I am alone...but my mom stayed up with me at least until I let her know it was ok to leave me around 2 am....I feel so helpless...useless even...
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