Relapse Triggers...and Other Cause and Effect Situations That My Medical Conditions

There are so many variables when it comes to my MS and other conditions. Heat causes me to shut down depending on how hot I get  I can go from needing to sit while I talk or carry on to not being able to keep up with simple conversation and lift my head or sleeping without waking until I cool off. Energy exertion like physical activity any repetitive movement has the same effect on me. In any of these situations I can get upset over the tiniest things and really fly off the handle. I start getting warm at 75 and Extreme heat is anything in the 90s or above. I get it that everyone has hard days  and I try not to act like my days are harder because I feel like that statement is relative. My Anxiety is a barrel of fun too. I cannot seem to enjoy much of anything. I try to ignore it but it drives me nuts. I tend to organize excessively. I get going and have a hard time settling.  I cannot handle talking on the phone. Hearing the phone ring is enough to upset me. The Problem I run into trying to clean or organize is I have herniated discs which hurt. Cleaning of any kind leads to over heating and physical exertion. Sleep is another variable if I get too much or not enough it can ruin my day.  In either case I can be groggy and easily upset. Naturally with any of my issues I struggle to do things on a daily basis. from simple tasks and daily chores to working outside or at a job or any kind.

What bad days look like for me...

We have discussed average days and good days. Now, let's discuss bad days. It may get dark I feel like I should warn you. Like any day my bad day can begin any number of ways. I can sleep for days in a row just not able to really do more than take my medications. Or I can stumble out of bed and do my best to avoid falling often my family walks behind me even if I have my walker. I am not really hungry and if I am, I don't have the energy to eat. I tend to think or say dark things about not wanting to live or continue the struggle that is often my life. I struggle to read, write, type, or communicate verbally on these days. I have blurred and/or double vision. I am weak lifting a half a gallon can be hard. Aiming to sit on the toilet can be hard. I cannot focus and become frustrated easily. I talk to people who are not there, forget who I am, where I am, what I am doing. I forget how old I am, how old my son is, what day it is. It is not just hard on me either, It is hard on my family too. I see all these positive stories about people who have MS and get better... How I'm not supposed to give up. It is so hard not to. MS is not all I have to deal with. I have MS, PCOS, Complex Migraines, multiple herniated discs, depression, anxiety, gird, and, I'm obese. I feel like the last one is a stretch but anyway. My point is it gets dark and I know people around me are trying to help but sometimes when people are being nice it hurts...I don't know why. I feel bad that they can't help me and I feel like I am not doing enough. I feel like I'm lost and it's my fault. I whine a lot I know I do I try to make my posts focused on becoming healthy and doing things to be better but I just want people to understand it's hard. I love you guys for listening, I love you guys for seeing me, and I love you guys for trying to be nice and trying to help and even though it hurts it would hurt even more if people did not try.