MRI results

so on the 19th which was my birthday I went to my follow up and I learned nothing new. I need a neurologist for all of the actual info. However, I was given a few medications to make my life easier. I no take meds twice a day for my complex migraines and my nerve pain. I take medicine also for my twitching or spasms. Unfortunately they all make me tired as well. I am also going through the potential loss of my mate right now...it is really hard for me I feel like I am grasping at straws. I hate to be alone...and yet I often am alone to please people or because people can't handle me. I get mad for no reason or I over react an yell even when I am not upset. I do not understand much of what I say, think, or do. I am trying to figure things out. Like how can I be an actual part of society, how can I make some form of income. The issue is I am unreliable....sometimes I am awake at 6 am and sometimes I just cannot seem to get up. Then another issue is I have a hard time sitting for too long or standing for too long. so I watch other people work and sometimes I think I can work or do something and then I am reminded that I just cannot do the job good or bad, easy or hard. I get so desperate for a job I have been to the good will. I know I cannot work I just feel bad because I feel like a bum. This feeling often makes me do more than I should. The next day I hurt I'm tired and really useless. I cannot work for even an hour straight without being tired or in pain to the point that I cannot keep moving. I am doing my best to work with what I have for as long as I can. I look at my son and I feel like a bad mommy... Even when he insists I am a good mommy. I look at my family and feel like I make a bad sister/daughter. I know better but somehow knowing is not enough. I want to tell you guys things are better...I want to tell you guys I am headed for a better life...I want to be soo much different no one spend their child hood thinking they want to deal with chronic pain or chronic illness. I look in the mirror and feel like I am nothing. I feel useless.

I recently buzzed my hair...