My Pepaw

I know that when I was a baby My Pepaw was thin and able to walk. I do not remember it but I see pictures of him. What I do remember is when I would sit on the floor next to his wheel chair and play games. It is a pattern of course gaming was a big part of my life I was a 90s baby so games were the up and coming. I remember oreos and Dr. pepper. At a very young age Dr.pepper was also a big part of my life. I remember visiting my grandparents and my parents did not seem to like the habits I picked up. I remember sneaking out of bed late at night to a light nudge at my feet. It was Pepaw with his finger to his lips beckoning me to get into the Dr.pepper and Oreos to bring them out while he got the t.v. ready. We would stay up really late and wake up really early to spend as much time as we could alone together to play. I also remember him chasing me through the house in his chair doing his best to scare me with his teeth. To be honest during this time my Memaw was not as vivid a memory. My Pepaw was the only thing I could see. I loved him with all my little heart had. When I was 10 I was visiting my mom and something told me he was not here anymore. Sure enough my mom came in and did her best not to tell me what was happening so that I could fly out calmly. I knew though I was not upset. I took it rather well. It hurt but in my mind he was happy and able to walk again. I have never responded to death like most people and I still do not grieve with tears. I did it my own way and in my own time. I did many times in my pre-teens and teenage years cry but mostly because the house was so quiet without him. I cannot imagine a life without these memories. Seeing him and loving my Memaw and my Pepaw gives me strength to push on. Life is not easy for anyone. The best thing my grandparents showed me was not to judge people. Having them has opened my eyes to so many things and helps me with my son and him having grandparents.